Die Fremdan Gefahren - A Stranger Dangers Story
by kjc609
Summary: The Stranger Dangers find that their tropical island paradise is under attack by zombies! Will they make it out alive? I hope not! (Inspired by PlaytheGameCentral)
1. Meet the Dangers

"_**Are you physically retarded?"**_

_**Chris "Chillax6" Taylor**_

"_**No."**_

_**Ben "Benn Down" Slack**_

"_**There is a hole that needs to be filled called an arsehole, which I will happily fill for you."**_

_**Booperdee TWO OOH OOH OOOOOH OOOOOOOOOH**_

"_**GET AWAY FROM ME! GET OFF!"**_

_**Charlie "ChWarren" Warren **_

**DIE FREMDAN GEFAHREN**

**By kjc609**

Before we properly start the story, I think it would be best to introduce the Stranger Dangers.

First, there's Benn. He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well. He's finally back to kick some tail. He's fat, and he has an incredible voice which he can control the pitch of. He can go from Lucas Cruikshank-tier screaming to Cr1TiKaL-tier deep voice.

Next, there's Chillax. He's a fucking assdick. That's what he is. There is nothing good about him. He wears a mask to hide his fucking ugly face. He's a giant cunt. He's a giant bitch. He's a shitload of fuck. He's a dickassbitchfuckerasscunt. He's every name in the book. He's a racial term for black people which I can't say here or else I'd get banned. Okay, I'd better stop, or else we'll be here all day.

Next, there's Booperdee2. No one knows his real name, so let's just call him Boop. He's a ponyfag, but he's also a gentleman. He also has the best smile ever. Even better than Benn's. Fuck yeah.

Finally, there's Warren, the least interesting of the bunch. All we can say is that he wants you to get away from him. He also has a bowl for hair. So that's cool.

Welp, that's it for the prologue. Tune in next time, same bat time, same bat channel, to find out what exactly this story is about, and why it's a Call of Duty fanfiction. Toodles.


	2. DLC 5 Confirmed!

_Are you scared?_

_Are you scared of me?_

_Are you the person that you used to be?_

_Are you a liar?_

_Are you just like me?_

Afraid of Living blasted through the Dangers' tropical island hideout. Boop was headbangin' hard to dat motherfucking music.

Chris entered the room. "Um, hello, gentlemen…"

"What do you want, Laxx?" Benn moaned. He had a tummy ache because of all the pizza he ate last night.

"I reprogrammed the teleport- "Chris was cut off by Warren.

"Oh, not this again, Chris! Don't you remember what happened LAST time?"

Yes, last time, the Dangers were teleported by that teleporter that Chris invented to Hell. They had to fight demons and shite.

_I'M NOT AFRAID OF DEATH, IIIIIIIII'M…_

_AFRAID OF-_

Chris kicked the boom box out of the fucking window, and shot it with his fake rifle which could somehow shoot real bullets. Yeah, he doesn't even have a real rifle! This guy is a joke! HAHAHAHA- okay, I'm going off-topic. Back to the story.

"No, I reprogrammed it so it'll take us to that show you love to watch, Boop!" Chris yelled to Boop.

"M-M-My Little Pony? EQUESTRIA?!" Boop was surprised and eager to go into the teleporter, now. "LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO-"

"FUCK NO!" Benn screamed. "I'm okay with Boop going, but we're not going to that gay ass show he likes to watch!"

Chris had this to say. "Um, you have to go, four people are required in the teleporter during use…"

"…Fuck." Benn stated plainly.

Within seconds, they were in the teleporter, and they were transported to Equestria where they had happy times and had hot anal sex with Rainbo- Okay, of course that's not what happened. Instead, they were transported to the DARK SIDE OF THE MOON! Somehow, though, they could breathe in space.

"Chris, you FUCKING IDIOT!" Boop was the first to speak up. "I WANTED TO CUM INSIDE RAINBOW DASH AND INSTEAD WE GET TRANSPORTED TO THE MOON!"

"As much as I hate to say it, I agree with Boop!" Benn yelled. "HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE?!"

"S-sorry…" Chris said. "I thought it'd be a funny prank."

Chris was promptly kick in the dick by Warren. That kid is tough, damn.

"Oh, hey look, weapons!" Boop screamed. M1911s were on the ground, along with knifes. Benn knew what this meant. "And a vending machine!" PHD Flopper was here as well. "AND AN UPGRADE YOUR WEAPONS THINGY!" Pack-A-Punch was here as well. Benn spoke up.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! WE HAVE TO FIGHT ZOMBIES!"

Within a second, Round I began…

**To Be Continued. Fuck you.**


	3. 1080p

**LAST TIME ON DIE FREMDAN GEFAHREN…**

"**FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"**

**And now we continue.**

Zombies swarmed, and The Stranger Dangers were all eaten alive by the giant swarms of- Wait, hold on. What? Oh, okay. Sorry about that. My friend is telling me that it's only Round I. Apologies.

Anyways…zombies started coming at them incredibly slowly in gigantic…ally small numbers. Slash slash slash, went the Dangers' knifes.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Benn yelled to a zombie close to him. "If you touch me…GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" He DDTed the zombie, and it bit him, but he was fine, since no playable character seems to get infected in Zombies, except for the CDC fatass in Turned, but he's not in the story.

Boop stabbed a zombie in the ass, filling it up. Enough said.

Chris shot his fake rifle (HA HA HA HA HA HA) at the zombies. The sound the gun made was just Chris saying "1080p" over and over again.

Warren was a short man, and he had no meat on dem bones. So, pretty much every zombie ignored him. He still killed zombies though. Killing these zombies gave him meat on his bones. And now, zombies were attacking him. Yup.

Round I ended after thirty seconds of dickery. Chris had 5520 points, somehow. Probably because he always aimed for the head. HA HA! WHAT A FAGGOT, AM I RIGHT? HO HO HO!

"Um, guys?" Warren mumbled. "I think we're teleporting again."

"This better not teleport us to the fucking sun…" Benn muttered.

They were all teleported back to the tropical island paradise. We'll call it Bermuda. That sounds like a good name, doesn't it? Yes, it does. Unfortunately, Round II began just as they teleported, and now zombies were infesting the paradise.

"You fucking SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" Benn screamed. "OUR HOUSE!"

**To be continued, again. Eat my dick.**


	4. UZI NEIN MILIEMETUH

**LAST TIME ON DIE FREMDAN GEFAHREN**

"**ten aytee pee ten ayree pee ten aytee pee ten aytee pee"**

**And now, back to the fanfic…**

Chris' 5500 points were reduced to 5000 when he bought the Olympia off the wall. "Um, excuse me, could you give me two sugars?" he asked a zombie. When the zombie refused and just scratched his arm, he shot its head off. Also, Quick Revive was there, but it wasn't on, because the power wasn't on. Yup.

Boop was filling up more zombie asses with bullets. Eventually, he got to 3000 points. "Hey, um, guys? I'm opening the door to our house!" he yelled to the other Dangers.

"Well, fucking good!" Benn yelled back. He and Warren had turned a zombie into a sad, crawling bastard.

They went inside the house, Juggernog was on the wall, and zombies were everywhere. The raping commenced.

Chris traded in his fake rifle (OH MY GOD HA HA HA FUCK I CAN'T BREATHE) for…well, as Arnold Schwarzenegger would put it…

"UZI NEIN MILIEMETUH"

Benn bought the same thing as Chris. Boop got an MP5. Warren stuck to an M14.

Chris, being the official abuse bitch of the Dangers, cut his 5000 points down to 3000, buying the 2000 point debris to the kitchen.

Benn analyzed the room. "Okay, let's see, there's a fridge, a Remington on the wall, Double Tap, Spiderbite eating all our food, and a Bowie Kni- WAIT. WHAT?!"

Yup, the fridge was open. And who should be there but…

"HAHA WHAT'S GOING ON GUYS HAHAHAHAHA SPIDER HERE HAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA"

**To be continued, once again. Faget.**


	5. WUTS GOIN ON GAIZ SPIDR HER

**LAST TIME ON DIE FREMDAN GEFAHREN…**

"**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA"**

**And now, back to the fanfic.**

The Dangers were shocked. Shocked with a side order of furious. Also, it's a Happy Meal, and the toy that came with it is one of those Berserker Packs from Doom.

"Spidershite…" Benn started. "May I ask what the CUNTING FUCKMONGER you're doing here?!"

Spiderbite began laughing again. Good lord, was it annoying.

"HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I WAS GOING TO EAT SOME OF YOUR CHIPS AND SHIT ON THEM LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA LE EPIC SHIT MEME LOLOL LE HAHA!1!1!"

That's what the Dangers heard, because it was so hard to understand because of that fucking forty year old's tendency to laugh.

Chris was about to slap a bitch (even though he is one himself). Even he was angry. But before he could…

"HAHAHA SEE YOU LATER LOLJKBAI" Spider shouted. He disappeared within a puff of smoke. In the midst of that smoke was a Max Ammo, for some reason. Warren grabbed it.

"MAX AMMO!" That fucking voice screamed. Also, the Mystery Box and the power were here. Yay.

Benn turned on the power and rolled the box. "Please get CZs, please get CZs…"

Instead of the epic dual-wield CZs, he got an FN Faggot. "FUCK FUCK!" Benn screamed. But he took it anyways.

Chris bought Juggernog and rolled the box. He got a Ray Gun. Lucky fucking bastard.

Boop rolled the box and got a Spas-12. "Perfect for filling up arseholes!" He said.

Warren rolled the box and got the new Wonder Weapon for this map, known as the Dild0, which shoots some sort of white, sticky substance that somehow kills the zombies. The substance can also get on the floor, and zombies will get stuck in it temporarily. Kind of like the Siliquifier.

After Boop rolled the box, he got Quick Revive. Benn did the same.

Warren bought Juggernog, just like Chris.

After they got decked out, they opened the upstairs, which was infested with zombies. Chris didn't shoot any of them. What a pussy.

There were five rooms, four for the Dangers, and a fifth one for any wacky shit Chris was working on. They decided to go into the fifth room, first. The teleporter was here, which would teleport the Dangers to the Dark Side of the Moon for one round, where they could Pack-A-Punch and buy PhD Flopper. A button was on the wall.

"Wait…this button wasn't here before!" Benn realized. Chris was, surprisingly, just as shocked. I'm the author, and even though it's Chris, I can tell you he was not faking this feeling of shock. "Wait, it's labeled…" Boop noticed. The label read as follows:

"PRESS THIS AND NEXT GEN TACTICS WILL BE DESTROYED FOREVER, AND YOU WILL GET YOUR HOUSE BACK. COST: 200000 POINTS. FUCK THE BANK, AND FUCK CHRIS. SIGNED, THATONEANON, A.K.A. KJC609."

Clearly, the Dangers needed to get 200000 points. But with no bank, this was actually a challenge. "How the cunt are we going to get 200000 points with no bank?" Benn asked.

"Ladies…" said a voice from behind them. "Maybe I can help."

**Will the Dangers get 200000 points? **

**Will they run into Spiderbite, again?**

**Will Chris ever stop being a pussy?**

**Will Warren ever stop being uninteresting?**

**Also, who the fuck is the voice behind them?**

**Actually, if you like PTG, it's pretty obvious who it is, but whatever. Eat shit for breakfast, lunch and dinner.**

**Find out in the next chapter!**


	6. Time for sex BIG SEX

**Holy shit, a new chapter.**

**LAST TIME ON DIE FREMDAN GEFAHREN…**

**WEEEEEEELLLLL IT'S THE BIG SEX**

**Back to the chapter.**

Benn was shocked. Warren and Boop were happy. Chris was furious.

There, standing in front of them, was a beloved God among PTG.

"Why, hello ladies…" Doonan moaned, sensually. The Big Sex had returned.

"Faggot." Chris said out loud, ruining the moment.

"So, I hear you're looking for 200000 points." Doonan silently screamed, causing millions of women around the world to orgasm.

Warren and Boop were too excited to say anything, and Chris was crying in a corner, pondering why God had forsaken him, so Benn is doing all the talking.

"Well, yes we are, actually." Benn replied.

"I have 5000000000000000 points." Doonan did not say. Instead, he used sign language everyone could understand. He then humped the air and came inside a woman somewhere in Japan.

"I would ask if we could have 20000 of them, but I already know there's a catch." Benn replied. "What is it?

Doonan smirked, and gave the instruction.

"You must journey to the very heart of the island. There, you will find NGT Headquarters. Syndicate and McSportsHawk are having tea with Spiderbite there. Sneak inside, find Syndicate, Spiderbite, and McSportsHawk, and kill them. Once they are dead, retrieve the objects they have on them. Spiderbite will have a Spiderman comic. Syndicate will have his pet lizard that he keeps showing off for no fucking reason. McSportsHawk will have one of his MLG custom controllers. Take them, and bring them to me."

"Why the cunting assfuck would you want any of that?" Benn questioned.

"Do not question the Big Sex. I want them for personal reasons." Doonan proclaimed.

There was a brief silence.

"…You want to make them into sex toys, don't you?" Benn answered back.

"…How…how did you know?" Doonan was shocked.

"Your title is 'The Big Sex.'" Benn answered. "I would only assume you're a sex addict."

"Well, can't fault your logic, there." Doonan stated.

The Dangers agreed, Benn got Boop, Warren, and Chris off their fatasses, and they left the hideout to venture to the heart of Bermuda. But before they left, Doonan had this to say.

"By the way, I bet you're wondering how to get to the heart of the island." Doonan smirked.

"Actually, yes we are." Benn said back.

"Well, just follow the Green Shit Road."

"Follow the Green Shit Road…" Benn looked down to find a road of green-colored feces.

"Follow the Green Shit Road!" Chris yelled.

_Follow the Green Shit Road_

_Follow the Green Shit Road_

_Follow the_

_Follow the_

_Follow the_

_Follow the_

_Follow the Green Shit Road_

**Will the author stop making references to shit no one cares about?**

**Will Doonan ever stop being attractive?**

**Will Chris ever stop being a crybaby?**

**Will Boop and Warren EVER say something?**

**Will Benn and the Dangers follow the Green Shit Road to victory, or be devoured by man-eating zombies?**

**Find out next time, same Danger time, same Danger channel!**

**Fucking cunt.**


End file.
